How to be a Dream Employee

LEARN TO COPE WITH CRITICISM

 

When you can distinguish between constructive comments and negative remarks, you can use them to your advantage. Criticism from someone who has taken time to assess your work can be valuable, whereas an ill-tempered tirade is best ignored. Develop a filter to reject any irrational criticism.

 

ADMIT YOU'RE OVERLOADED

 

If you're regularly working through lunch and late into the evening, yet still not keeping up, ask for help. Go to your boss as soon as you realise you have a problem. But don't just whine pointlessly; make sure you spell out your situation. Your boss has given you the work, but you're the one who knows what's really involved.

 

DEVELOP A NEW SKILL EACH YEAR

 

Continually upgrading your skills will keep you one step ahead. They'll make you more valuable or even help you make a smooth transition to another company. The main attribute employers look for in employees is flexibility. And at the very least you'll be keeping yourself interested in your job.

 

HELP YOUR BOSS SUCCEED

 

Bosses appreciate staff who help them look good. Any little thing you can do to help your boss keep her job will help you keep yours. Loyalty is very important. You can support them by giving feedback - positive and negative - but word your criticism carefully.

 

HAVE PLAN B UP YOUR SLEEVE

 

It's important to have a second strategy in mind should your original plan of action be thwarted. Someone who offers solutions rather than problems will be viewed as enthusiastic and committed. It shows you're not avoiding responsibility when things get difficult.

 

AVOID BEING A CHANGE CASUALTY

 

Many people resist change, whether it's a new procedure for ordering stationery or a corporate merger, but these people will be the first to go when job cuts are made. Don't fight change. Being able to go with it is the key to remaining employed, never mind being a good employee.

10 things

How we deal with the changes in life impacts how well we deal with
life itself. Do we see change as an opportunity for growth, or do we desperately
try to hang on to the status quo? Here are some tips to help you weather changes
and smooth out the bumps in your life.

1. Expand your horizons.

Use the change to learn something. Now is the time to become
computer literate, learn to take great pictures with the camera that's on the
closet shelf, or brush up on your writing skills in a creative writing class.
You'll learn something new and meet people who share a common interest with you.

2. Live a healthy lifestyle.

Pay attention to the food you eat to fuel your body. Choose
protein-rich foods, whole grains, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. As food
fuels your body, sleep fuels your brain. Get 7 or 8 hours a night if possible.
Exercise daily. It goes a long way to making you feel better.

3. Use your support network.

When you're feeling sad, confused, or overwhelmed, don't hesitate
to contact a friend, family member, clergy member or therapist. Choose someone
who will listen to you in a safe, non-judgmental way. Talking is a great way to
lighten your load as you work through your change.

4. Volunteer.

Give your time to help others and notice how rewarding it feels.
When your life seems to be in total upheaval, helping someone else puts things
in perspective. No matter how dismal things may seem, there are always plenty of
people who would gladly trade places with you. Remember that.

5. List the stable things in your life.

When change is swirling all around you and you feel totally off
balance, make a list of the things in your life that remain stable. What is your
daily routine? Do you wake up at the same time each morning and have coffee and
read the newspaper before work? Are there favorite television shows you watch?
Do you attend religious services each week? Listing the routine things you do
will remind you that there is some stability in your life.

6. Take your time.

Life can change in an instant, but it takes time to adjust to the
change. If you lose your job, don't expect an immediate adjustment to your
unemployed status. If you are widowed or divorced, it will take time to settle
into a new routine as a single person. Understand this and allow yourself to
ease into your new life situation.

7. Explore the opportunities in transition.

A door opens because another door has closed. This may be the time
to investigate something major like moving from a house to a condo or maybe to
another location. Perhaps you want to change your image with a makeover. What
about getting involved in local politics or opening a home business? All things
are possible.

8. Keep a journal.

Keeping a journal is very therapeutic. Write about how the changes
in your life are affecting you. What are your feelings? The journal is for your
eyes only, so write from your heart. No censoring your entries. That defeats the
purpose of journaling.

9. Take time for yourself.

Are you busy caring for others and neglecting yourself? When your
life is in transition, it is important to make time for yourself. To function
effectively, you must come from a place of wholeness. We all have the same 24
hours every day. Make yourself a priority, even if you have to set something
else aside. If necessary, schedule a daily appointment with yourself and keep
it.

10. Grieve for what you are losing.

Any change involves the loss of something. Give yourself
permission to grieve for what you are losing no matter how trivial others may
think it is. This is something you must get through in a way that is meaningful
to you so that you can move forward without regret.

Do's & Dont's wen Emailing ur Resume

Emailing your resume to an employer or recruitment consultant is fast, inexpensive and shows your ability to handle this form of technology, so use it as often as you can.

But there are do's and don’ts that apply specifically when sending your resume electronically:

Do keep it simple
Your resume should always only be a summary of your relevant skills, abilities and qualifications, and this is particularly true when emailing your resume. The person reading your resume may have less time, patience and computer power to read reams of information on their screen.

Don’t use fancy font styles
The recipients’ computer may not have the decorative fonts installed or the large and colourful screen that you're used to. As a result, your resume may look quite different when it is received. The fancy fonts you have spent time creating may be removed or even worse become distorted, giving your resume a very unprofessional look.

Do use simple margins and proper page breaks
With systems and printers varying from one workplace to another, your resume may not appear as it is supposed to when printed. To reduce the chances of this, keep tabs and margin changes to a minimum and insert proper page breaks.

Don’t cut and paste your resume into the email message
Unless requested, only include your resume as an attachment. A cut and pasted resume often looks distorted, is unformatted and can be difficult to read.

Do include all relevant information in one attachment
Many email addresses displayed in job advertisements belong to support staff who print your resume and pass it on to the person who has the power to put you on the shortlist. Your actual email and other attachments such as covering letters may not be passed on and simply deleted.

So make it easy for them and increase your chances of success by including your covering letter, your resume and any other relevant information in the one attachment.

Do check your attachments for computer viruses
If your resume is found to contain a computer virus, the recipients’ virus checking system may delete your entire resume, or worse, you may be remembered as the candidate who corrupted the organisations’ computer system.

Tradition
Many employers and recruitment consultants will print your resume and still use it in the traditional sense. It is important that your emailed version contains the same factual rather than subjective information and includes positive language in a succinct and concise manner, just as your traditional resume. Be careful with spelling and present it professionally within the guidelines set above.

 

How to spot an Email Hoax - Guide to Recognizing Hoaxes

Spotting the latest email hoaxes may be easier than you think!

There are thousands of email hoaxes moving around the Internet at any given time. Some may be the latest email hoaxes around. Others may be mutated versions of hoax messages that have travelled the Internet for years. These email hoaxes cover a range of subject matter, including:

• Supposedly free giveaways in exchange for forwarding emails.
• Bogus virus alerts.
• False appeals to help sick children.
• Pointless petitions that lead nowhere and accomplish nothing.
• Dire, and completely fictional, warnings about products, companies, government policies or coming events.

The good news is that, with a little bit of foreknowledge, email hoaxes are easy to detect. Hidden within the colourful prose of your average email hoax often lurk telling indicators of the email's veracity.

Probably the most obvious of these indicators is a line such as "Send this email to everyone in your address book". Hoax writers want their material to spread as far and as fast as possible, so almost every hoax email will in some way exhort you to send it to other people. Some email hoaxes take a more targeted approach and suggest that you send the email to a specified number of people in order to collect a prize or realize a benefit.

Another indicator is that hoaxes tend not to provide checkable references to back up their spurious claims. Genuine competitions, promotions, giveaways or charity drives will usually provide a link to a company website or publication. Real virus warnings are likely to include a link to a reputable virus information website. Emails containing Government or company policy information are likely to include references to checkable sources such as news articles, websites or other publications.

A third indicator is often the actual language used. Email hoax writers have a tendency to use an emotive, "over-the-top" style of writing peppered with words and phrases such as "Urgent", "Danger", "worst ever virus!!", "sign now before it's too late" and so on, often rendered in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS for added emphasis. Paragraphs dripping with pathos speak of dying children; others "shout" with almost rabid excitement about free air travel or mobile phones. As well, some email hoaxes try to add credibility by using highly technical language.

Before forwarding an email, ask yourself these questions:

1. Does the email ask you to send it to a lot of other people?
2. Does the email fail to provide confirmation sources?
3. Is the language used overly emotive or highly technical?

A "yes" answer to one or more of the above questions, should start some alarm bells ringing. These indicators do not offer conclusive evidence that the email is a hoax but they are certainly enough to warrant further investigation before you hit the "Forward" Button.

Softwares you should not miss

Office

OpenOffice - office suite
PC Suite 602 - office suite
AbiWord - text editor
Atlantis Nova - text editor
Microsoft PowerPoint Viewer  - power point files viewer
Adobe Reader - pdf reader
Foxit PDF Reader - pdf reader
PDFCreator - create pdf documents
Doc Convertor - document convertor
Convert - unit convertor
Converber - unit convertor
Sunbird - calendar/organizer
EssentialPIM Free - calendar/organizer
PhraseExpress - speed up your writing
ATnotes - create notes on the desktop

Archive managers

7-Zip - compression program
IZArc - compression program
TugZIP - compression program
CabPack - compression program
Universal Extractor - extract files from any type of archive

Internet

Firefox - web browser
Internet Explorer- web browser
Maxthon - web browser
Opera - web browser
Avant Browser - web browser
Thunderbird - email client
PopTray - check for emails
Free Download Manager - download manager
FlashGet - download manager
WellGet - download manager
Download Master - download manager
WGET - commandline download manager
HTTrack - offline browser
WebReaper - offline browser
Yeah Reader - RSS reader
GreatNews - RSS reader
RSSOwl - RSS reader

P2P  this is sharing files on your computer with someone else.

?Torrent - torrent client
Azureus - torrent client
BitComet - torrent client
ABC - torrent client
BitTornado - torrent client
eMule - p2p client
SoulSeek - p2p client
Shareaza - p2p client
DC++ - Direct Connect network client
PeerGuardian - IP blocker

Chat

Miranda - chat client
MSN Messenger - chat client
Yahoo Messenger - chat client
QIP - chat client
Gaim - chat client
JAJC - chat client
HydraIRC - IRC client
Talkative IRC - IRC client
IceChat - IRC client
Skype - VOIP client
Google Talk - VOIP client
VoipStunt - VOIP client
Gizmo - VOIP client
Wengo - VOIP client

Security

AVG Free - antivirus
Avast Home Free - antivirus
AntiVir PersonalEdition - antivirus
BitDefender Free - antivirus
ClamWin - antivirus
CyberDifender - Internet Security Suite
Ad-aware - anti-spyware
Spybot: Search & Destroy - anti-spyware
Windows Defender - anti-spyware
SpywareBlaster - anti-spyware
Spyware Terminator - anti-spyware
Tootkit Reveaker  - rootkit detection utility
Winpooch - system protection
HiJack Free - system protection
HighJackThis - hijackers detector and remover
Kerio Personal Firewall - firewall
Sygate Personal Firewall - firewall
ZoneAlarm - firewall
AxCrypt - file encryption
Simple File Shredder - securely delete files
PuTTy - SSH client
KeePass - password manager
LockNote - password manager
nPassword - password manager
Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer - identify security misconfigurations

Network

Hamachi - VPN client
RealVNC - remote control
UltraVNC - remote control
Ethereal - local area network administration
The Dude - network administration
Wireshark - network administration
Angry IP Scanner - IP scanner
IP-Tools - IP scanner
Free Port Scanner - IP scanner
NetMeter - network bandwidth monitoring

Servers

FileZilla - FTP client
FileZilla Server - FTP server
EFTP - FTP client/server
XAMPP - integrated server package of Apache, mySQL, PHP and Perl
WAMP - Apache, PHP5 and MySQL server

Audio

Foobar2000 - audio player
WinAmp - audio player
1by1 - audio player
JetAudio - audio player
XMPlay - audio player
Xion - audio player
Apollo - audio player
MediaMonkey - music organizer
The GodFather - music organizer
dBpowerAMP - audio converter
Audacity - audio converter
WavePad - audio converter
Kristal Audio Engine - audio editor
Exact Audio Copy - CD ripper
Audiograbber - CD ripper
CDex - CD ripper
Mp3 Tag Tools - tag editor
Mp3tag - tag editor
Taggin? MP3 - tag editor
Monkey?s Audio - APE compressor/decompressor
mpTrim - mp3 editor
WavTrim - wave editor
EncSpot Basic - analyse mp3 files

Video

Windows Media Player - audio/video player
VLC - video player
Media Player Classic - video player
MV2Player - video player
CrystalPlayer 1.95 - video player
Zoom Player - video player
GOM Player - video player
viPlay - video player
DSPlayer - video player
VirtualDub - video editor
CamStudio - video screen recording
AviSplit - Avi splitter
Video mp3 Extractor - rip audio from video files
Free iPod Converter - convert all popular video formats to iPod video
MediaPortal - turning your PCinto a Media Center
The FilmMachine

Image

Gimp - image editor
PhotoFiltre - image editor
Paint.net - image editor
ArtRage - image editor
Artweaver - image editor
IrfanView - image viewer
Picasa - image viewer
XnView - image viewer
FastStone Image Viewer - image viewer
FuturixImager - image viewer
Easy Thumbnails - create thumbnails from images
JoJoThumb - create thumbnails from images
iWebAlbum - create web photo albums
JAlbum - create web photo albums
3D Box Shot Maker - design quality box shot
FastStone Capture - screen capture
WinSnap - screen capture

3D

Blender3D - 3D renderer
3Delight Free - 3D renderer
SketchUp - 3D modeling
Maya Learning Edition - 3D modeling

Developers

AutoIt - task automation
SciTE4AutoIt3 - text editor for AutoIt
AutoHotkey - task automation
PHP Designer - PHP editor
Notepad++ - text editor
ConTEXT Editor - text editor
PSPad - text editor
FoxEditor - text editor
Crimson Editor - source code editor
Elfima Notepad - text editor
Notepad2 - text editor
Nvu - HTML editor
Alleycode - HTML editor
BlockNote - web page editor
Weaverslave - web page editor

CD/DVD

DeepBurner - CD/DVD burner
CDBurner XP Pro - CD/DVD burner
BurnAtOnce - CD/DVD burner
Express Burn - CD/DVD burner
Zilla CD-DVD Rip?n?Burn - CD/DVD burner
ImgBurn - ISO, BIN burner
Daemon tools - virtual CD/DVD
DVD Decrypter - DVD ripper
DVD Shrink - DVD ripper
Nero CD-DVD Speed - CD/DVD info and quality test

Codecs

GSpot - codec information
AC3Filter - audio codec
Xvid - video codec
QuickTime Alternative - video codec
Real Alternative - video codec
K-Lite Codec Pack - all codecs

System Ulilities

CCleaner - system cleaner
xp-AntiSpy - OS setup
jv16 Powertools - system utilities
XP SysPad - system monitoring utility
What?s Running - process guard
Registrar Lite - registry editor
WinIPConfig - replacement for ?ipconfig.exe? and ?route.exe?
Unlocker - file eraser
Eraser - secure file eraser
Undelete Plus - file recovery
freeCommander - file manager
ExplorerXP - file manager
Duplicate File Finder - find all duplicate files
Ant Renamer - file renaming
ReNamer - file renaming
Icons From File - icos extractor
Chaos MD5 - MD5 generator
HashTab - MD5, SHA1 and CRC-32 file hashes
Rainlendar Lite - desktop calendar
Weather Watcher - weather firecast
Subtitle Workshop - subtitles editor
Ant Movie Catalog - movie organizer
Disclib - CD organizer
Dexpot - virtual desktops
DriveImage XML - create partition images
MozBackup - backup and restore bookmarks, etc.
SyncBack - system backup
Atomic Cock Sync - syncronize your clock
Citrus Alarm Clock - alarm clock
TaskSwitchXP - Alt-Tab replacement
Launchy - application launcher
allSnap - make all windows snap
Sysinternals Tools - various system tools
StrokeIt - mouse gestures
Net Profiles - create profiles of your network settings
ResourceHacker - view, modify, rename, add, delete
Java Runtime Environment - java for Windows

UI Enhancements

RocketDock  - application launcher
AveDesk - desktop enhancer
IconPhile - customize windows?s system icons
CursorXP Free - change mouse cursors
MacSound - volume control
LClock - Windows Longhorn clock
Y?z Dock - application launcher
Y?z Shadow - shadow effect to the windows
Y?z Toolbar - change the toolbar icons in Explorer and Internet Explorer
Taskbar Shuffle - rearrange the programs on the taskbar by dragging
Visual Task Tips - thumbnail preview image for each task in the taskbar
Badges  - put badges on any folder or file
Folderico - change icons of the folders
Folder Marker - mark your folders
Folder2MyPC - add favourite locations to My Computer
Microsoft TweakUI - system settings
BricoPacks - shell packs
ShellPacks - shell packs
Tango Shell Patcher - shell patcher
XPize - GUI enhancer
Vista Transformation Pack  - complete visual style
Vista Sound Scheme - Windows Vista sound scheme
Royale Theme - visual style

Hardware monitoring/Benchmarking

CPU-Z - cpu information
CrystalCPUID - cpu information
Central Brain Identifier - cpu information
Everest - system information
SiSoft Sandra - system information
SpeedFan - hardware monitor
Memtest86 - memory test
PowerMax - HDD test
3Dmark 06 - 3D game performance benchmark
Aquamark - performance benchmark
rthdribl - 3D benchmark
Fraps - 3D benchmark, fps viewer and screen recorder
Prime 95 - cpu benchmarking
SuperPI - cpu benchmarking
CPU Rightmark - cpu overclock
Core Temp - cpu temperature
ATiTool - video overclock
ATI Tray Tools - Radeon tweaker
aTuner - GeForce and Radeontweaker
RivaTuner - video overclock
Nokia Monitor Test - monitor adjustmets
UDPixel - fix dead pixels

Games

123 Free Solitaire  - solitaire games collection
Arcade Pack - classic arcade games
Live For Speed - online racing simulator
Enigma - puzzle game
Freeciv - multiplayer strategy game
Tux Racer - race down steep, snow-covered mount?ins

Education

SpeQ Mathematics  - mathematics program
Dia - diagram creation program
Google Earth - explore the world
NASA World Wind - 3D virtual globe
Celestia - explore the space
Stellarium - planetarium

Miscellaneous

nLite - Build your own custom Windows disk.
VirtualPC - create virtual machines
grabMotion - webcam capture
iDailyDiary - simple page-for-a-day diary
Pivot Stickfigure Animator - create stick-figure animations
Wink - create presentations
Scribus - professional page layout
FreeMind - mind mapping software
Windows Live Writer - WYSIWYG blog authoring

Wallpapers

Michael Swanson  - 1920 x 1200; 1600 x 1200; amazing wallpapers
Mikhail Arkhipov - 1920 x 1200; 1600 x 1200; amazing wallpapers

 

Top 10 ways to inspire others to be their best

We all know people who are inspiring. But just how does one inspire others? Here are ten simple ways you can inspire people to be their best:

1. Be a good example. People watch what you do more than they listen to what you say. Be someone worth emulating.
2. Care about others.

People don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care. Ask questions. Take a genuine interest in people.

3. Encouragement.

Everyone goes through tough times. When you support people and encourage them through these times, you'll be inspiring them to see the best in themselves and in the situation.

4. Be inspired yourself.

Look for people, ideas, environments and knowledge that you find inspiring and motivating.

5. Share from your own experience.

You have more to share than you realize. Mine the rich experiences of your life and share your wisdom from your unique point of view. You may be the only one who can touch someone with your inspiring message.

6. Be vulnerable.

Be willing to share your failures as well as your successes. Others will relate to you. They'll understand that they're not the only ones with challenges.

7. Tell stories.

Facts tell and stories sell. They inspire, too. We learn best from parables and we all need to develop our own inspiring stories.

8. Be a good communicator.

Increasing your ability to communicate effectively is a critical element for you to inspire others. Watch how you speak and what you say. Invest in your communication skills.

9. Challenge people.

Many of us have had teachers who at times seemed more like tormentors than mentors. They challenged us to do our best, and we were better for it. Practice "care-frontation"— the careful and caring confrontation of others.

10. Read.

It may not follow that all readers are leaders, but certainly all leaders are readers. Stay informed. Share what you read with others. Tell people about books that have inspired you. Share the knowledge.

 

 

12 Traits of a successful leader..

Are leaders born or made? The jury is out on that one with modern theory suggesting a bit of both and certainly supporting the notion that any level of innate leadership can be nurtured and augmented with the right vision, tools and training. While not all people are born movers and shakers who can influence, motivate and inspire by pure gut instinct, everyone can be empowered to tap into their natural leadership abilities to succeed in business and in life. While each leader will have a unique style and roadmap to success, there are some common traits that the most successful leaders share. 1. Integrity

Honesty and integrity are the cornerstone of sustainable success. In order for people to want to follow their leader they must have complete trust in his honesty, his dedication, his commitment and his unshakeable ethics and high standards and values. Leaders who are open, truthful and consistent in their behaviors are more likely to inspire trust, loyalty and commitment in their teams.

2. Willingness to take Risk

Leaders are not afraid of taking risks or making mistakes. They take calculated as opposed to reckless risks and while they weigh their options and alternatives carefully they do not allow themselves to fall prey to the "analysis paralysis" syndrome. The best leaders learn from their mistakes and emerge from them resilient and ready to take on the next challenge.

3. Optimism and Enthusiasm

Leaders inspire others with the very infectiousness of their enthusiasm and their disarmingly genuine keenness, passion and zeal for what they do. Rather than dwelling on problems they are solution-oriented and focus on how to make things work and succeed. They are willing to see the silver lining in every cloud and have a 'can-do' optimistic attitude that leaves no place for negativity.

4. Commitment to Growth

Leaders recognize that learning is a life-long process and never stop doing what it takes to grow professionally and personally and maintain a grip with emerging trends and tools and business realities and technologies. The best leaders realize that to remain at the vanguard of their particular function or industry requires constant learning, enquiry, exploration and innovation as well as continuous self-scrutiny and analysis.

5. Vision

Leaders know precisely what they want and make clear detailed and achievable plans to get there. They are not vague or ambiguous in their goals nor do they leave anything to chance. Leaders are also able to articulate and communicate their vision clearly and in no uncertain terms and inspire and win others to their platform with their vision.

6. Pragmatism

While leaders may have lofty visions and ideals, they do not hide their heads in the clouds and are mindful of the hard facts and figures that surround them. They are very realistic when it comes to assessing the landscape they operate in and practical about the decisions they make.

7. Responsibility

Leaders can be depended on to take responsibility for their actions and to live up to their responsibilities completely. They stand firmly behind the commitments they make and do not let their teams down; nor do they assign or allocate blame to deflect from their own responsibilities. They do not have a victim mentality that holds others responsible for their poor choices and deficiencies but stare challenges in the face and confront them head-on.

8. Hard Work and Conscientiousness

Leaders work hard and accept no short cuts. The best leaders lead by their example demonstrating a stellar work ethic by being the first in the office, the last out and the most productive, persistent and dedicated while at work. They have a strong sense of duty and very high standards of excellence and they apply these rigorous standards to themselves first always seeking better, smarter, more effective ways of doing things.

9. Self-confidence

Leaders have no shortage of that essential commodity of self-assurance that enables them to risk giant strides, be bold and tough-minded and 'fall forward' in the rare instances when they do fall/fail. Leaders generally have little need for approval and are motivated by an inner strength, maturity and drive. Leaders are very cognizant of their inner strengths, weaknesses and the impact they have on others and knowledgeable of what they can and cannot realistically do/achieve/influenc e. They do not wallow in self-pity or guilt over past mistakes or doubt.

10. Emotional Intelligence

Empathy, self-awareness, decisiveness, self-discipline, intuitiveness and social competence are all key to successful leadership and all are associated with high levels of emotional intelligence. Congeniality, the ability to put oneself in another's shoes and relate with others, the ability to read between the lines and analyze the pulse of a relationship or situation, the ability to focus on the positive and refrain from negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors, are all elements of emotional intelligence that contribute to leadership success.

11. Expertise in Industry

While there are many generalists in leadership positions the best leaders become generalists not by knowing a little about many fields but my being experts in a multitude of fields. Good leaders are characterized by a very high level of energy, conscientiousness and drive and spare no efforts to become experts in their field and harness all the information and knowledge and competence they need to maintain an edge over their competitors.

12. Ability to Engage Others

A key leadership trait is inspiring, motivating, engaging and bringing out the best in others. The best leaders encourage leadership in all around them and strive to develop and empower others to assume roles of leadership and responsibility. They are able to propel others to elevated levels of performance through their own energy and enthusiasm and insight and can maximize the strengths and capabilities of their team for the benefit of the whole organization.

 

7 Rules For A Life Worth Living !!!!!!

Are you writing the story of your life, or are you letting other people and circumstances write it for you? You might not consider yourself a follower, but here are a few signs you aren’t in control:

You don’t like your job - Maybe you picked something because it was easier or safer than your ideal career. Worse, maybe you’re just doing what your family pressured you to do.

You’re living paycheck to paycheck - The problem usually isn’t money, but your priorities. It isn’t hard for the stuff you own to turn around and own you.

You feel obligated to do things you don’t want to do. Your first duty is to yourself. You can’t save the world while you’re miserable.

Leading your life isn’t easy. It means freeing yourself from many different assumptions. That freedom can be initially terrifying and painful, which is why so few people do it. It is far easier to just follow the assumptions of society, even if it leaves you unfulfilled.

Here are 7 rules that can help you start building a life worth living

Rule One: Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life.

Not your parents. Not your spouse. Not your kids. Leading your life means you can accept the input of other people, but the final decision is yours. This means that career choice, relationships, beliefs and way of life are to be judged by you, not anyone else.

This rule holds especially when you have doubts. Don’t let your moment of doubt become a weakness to be exploited by others. Not sure what you want to do with your life? Don’t sit passively and let other people decide for you.

Rule Two: Don’t allow yourself to be chained by consumerism.

The world is filled with stuff. Don’t let stuff get in the way of what is important. When you become chained to your stuff, you are no longer leading your life. Ask yourself: if you had to give up 90% of your net worth tomorrow to pursue your dream, could you do it effortlessly? If you hesitated, perhaps your ability to lead your own life has been weakened by your attachment to stuff.

Rule Three: Rule money. Don’t let money rule you.

Money is a resource that can be applied when leading your life. You can use it to reduce discomforts, focus on meaningful work and apply it to help you learn and improve. But if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the money is in control.

Here are some goals to put yourself in a position to rule the money in your life:

• Maintain one year of emergency funds in the bank.
• Your lifestyle should expand at a slower rate than your income grows.
• Be able to drastically reduce your expenditures if needed.

Financial freedom doesn’t mean the ability to buy everything you could desire or live in luxury. It means that money becomes a tool and not a distraction in leading your life.

Rule Four: You come first in relationships.

Do you know people that can’t stand being single? They get out of one bad relationship only to jump into the next.

Why? Because they put too much of their needs dependent on that other person. Without emotional and possibly financial support, they can’t survive.

In any relationship you need to be the person that comes first. That means that while you might enjoy the relationship, it doesn’t become the major purpose in your life.

Your purpose and leading your life must come before any relationship you enter. The surprising fact is that when you do this, you are able to have healthier personal and intimate relationships because there is no need for jealousy or possession.

Rule Five: Never outsource your thinking.

“You can split up food between men, but each man must digest it individually.” - Howard Roark in The Fountainhead.

Leading your own life means leading your own beliefs. It means never accepting anything unless you can filter it through your reasoning and find it to be true. Think critically about everything in life. Chances are there are a lot of indigested thoughts floating around trying to bypass your mind and go straight to your gut.

Rule Six: Anything you lack can be trained.

Never accept a fatalistic view of life. So you’ve been told you lack the intelligence, willpower, strength or charisma to do something? Ignore them. So you’ve told yourself that you lack the talent? Ignore yourself.

Begin with the assumption that anything can be trained and you’ll find few exceptions. I used to be a shy, introverted kid. Recently some friends described me as an extreme extrovert, being unafraid to meet new people and having honed my abilities to speak in front of crowds. Begin with the belief that you have no idea where your talents are until you train them.

Rule Seven: Purpose comes from your creative faculties.

Want to know what your purpose in life is? Simple. Hold your hands in front of you. Now look at them. There is your purpose and means to do it.

Purpose is your ability to take the creative energies you have and communicating them with the world. You and I might pick different mediums, but the act of purpose is exactly the same. You could be a manager crafting the art of dealing with people, a programmer crafting the knowledge of algorithms or an entrepreneur crafting the art of a business.

Don’t worry if you haven’t found the right medium. Once you feel that great purpose for your life and it comes from within, that is your greatest asset. With that belief you are the leader of your own life.